“Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway” John Wayne

"Rodeo Cowgirl"

I had a fork thrown in my road since my last post.

 I have silly health bits. Nothing I was too worried about.

Dizziness and ear popping had become quite bad. So before our last trip to the homeland I asked a Doctor, worried about my popping ears on a 10 hour flight.

Thinking I’d get some big drugs for popping ears. No. He said ‘ooh exciting….maybe a brain tumour‘.

 So back to my last post, The NHS could be a blog in itself.  So I have battled the NHS

for MRI’s and blood tests.

Spending romantic nights on the couch cuddled up to Dr Google.  Twisting his ear about crazy high ESR rates, high inflammation, and chance rates with cancer.

How to get the NHS to think like a mother. Thinking like a mother…. scary to think like a mother when tumor has been mumbled by a doctor.

Webs'r'us

So Dr Google and I have as backup plans researched self-healing, food as cure. I have eaten ginger, beets and turmeric. My ESR has dropped.

Yesterday nearly 6 months after it was first mentioned. 3 months after my appointment with a specialist. Month and half after my MRI.  I had a doctor finally say my brain is clear. No tumours, no MS. Blood tests have said other cancers should not be a worry.

I’ve spent the past months holding my babies worried I might not be lucky enough to have them slam doors in my face in 13 years.

  Oddly my Forking thoughts were never far behind.

No body could have convinced me of the absurd love I would have for my children before they were sprouts inside my tummy.

But this restaurant in my head has been clear since I remember. I’ve scouted locations since I was 4. Yes 4. I was talking my idea with an acquaintance. He said ‘Bit early to choose locations don’t you think?’   All I could do was giggle.

I can taste the fork. I can feel it so close now. 40 years of wanting.

I am not a religious person. I am a spiritual person.

The past few months have been my test from beyond.

How hard will I work for this? Is it the best thing for my family?

How big can my life dream be? How do my babies fit into this picture?

Can I be a great Mom and a great manager?

Can I be a great life partner to my husband and a great restaurant owner?

This test, this fork in the road has brought me to the realisation that I have to try.

I have to jump into this Forking dream with all my passion and love. My family needs this.

I can not spend my life wondering if my passion could’ve been discovered.

I could sell a million towels, tyres or tomatoes for someone else.

I would die wondering if I could have built a happy Forking existence for others to enjoy.

 So with a clean heart (and brain) and a heavy slate of passion and plans.

Here we go. I will spend a few hours a week on business plan.

I will schedule appointments with the bank to find out what to do in the next 3 years to make my self more appetising as a financial investment.

My Brain on MRI

My Brain on MRI (Photo credit: CaptPiper)

I will write up menus, floor plans, recipes.

I will consult those wiser than me. I’m blessed to know chefs, Pub landlady’s, and business people.

I will ask people what they want from their Forkful.

I will do my best to keep you updated on this crazy process. I feel clear and ready.

I’m still dizzy. It does not worry me like it did. I’ll just need to design the kitchen so I don’t have to carry large pots of boiling hot food across the kitchen.

So if you do not follow me….Please follow me. Share me. Write me. Share with me.

 It’s all good. For your sincere loyalty you will be first on our opening night guest list.